I am the secretary of your crotch and your crotch has a lot of mammals to send
To the contrary of popular belief, metrosexual czars are not people that fuck inside subway carts in their spare time. That’s a bummer, man.
When I was younger, I got licked right in the face by a cow. It felt like boiling tar was stuck to rugged sandpaper. I felt like my face was somehow poisoned. It felt so wrong that I didn’t give a fuck that he liked me anymore. I ate steak that night.
The first thing my friend did when he realized that he can design his own spaceship in a video game, the first idea that came into his mind was to build a giant flaming ballsack with “SEX” written in big, blocky letters. That’s the kind of world we live in, folks! Sometimes it’s not so bad!