Captains log. I am staring at the absolute abyss. There is absolutely nothing I can do in front of the terror that is life. Every single day I try to cope with the fact that most of the people that I see around me or absolute morons. I salute my stereotypical stupid trendy preppy artificial hypocritical racist selfish dishonorable douchebag muggles. But the moment that a slice of pizza touches the tip of my tongue, I forget all about it for one fleeting moment of tantalizing ooh la laa.